the Unexpected 23 DEC 09

To be honest, I not that type of person who loves write diaries that much. I felt writing diary and read it back again makes us think back those bad memories [one of it]. Refresh us for the pain again and again.

But today, I think a LOT of things. From A to Z. hahas.

Because of this, I almost lost my motor key. Fortunately, I found it back under the restaurant seat. Then, when I drove my bike. I found myself like lose control. Suddenly, I stop and keep finding for my phone. Perhaps, it in my pocket all the time. After direct my friend to Driving school, I went for work. I get scolded from my dad blindly. The worst is that’s not even my fault! I understand my dad had a lot of pressure so I just forget this.

I really mood less for the whole day. I’m really in confusing situation. You know what had happened? HE text me 9 messages for me last night asking me for back to the NORMAL. Next morning, I only get to see his messages [wake up time].  He tell me all the memories we been through. Does make my heart melts. I felt I was in dreaming only. It just too miracles for me.  But, I just pretend that he just needs a replacement for the lost. I don’t know what I should do. The end, we decided just to be BEST FRIEND only. I not say that I won’t return back. I ………… do love him. In fact, between us had too much problems and we doesn’t had the TRUST that we should.

I learn a lot of things from this long duration holidays. I learn that in LOVE, we can’t really judge which sides is right and wrong. He might do a lot of things that hurt me. I not demanding that I’m the 100% the right one. In the real fact, I understand that I do make a lot of mistakes when we together and I didn’t appreciate what he sacrifice for me. I could classify myself as the always “ASK FOR MORE” girlfriend too. i guess you get what I mean that situation. Maybe time will change everything back. Who knows right? But..Since i start LET GO then I should continue LET Go ! i don't want my heart to be broken again for the next time~