the Unexpected 23 DEC 09

To be honest, I not that type of person who loves write diaries that much. I felt writing diary and read it back again makes us think back those bad memories [one of it]. Refresh us for the pain again and again.

But today, I think a LOT of things. From A to Z. hahas.

Because of this, I almost lost my motor key. Fortunately, I found it back under the restaurant seat. Then, when I drove my bike. I found myself like lose control. Suddenly, I stop and keep finding for my phone. Perhaps, it in my pocket all the time. After direct my friend to Driving school, I went for work. I get scolded from my dad blindly. The worst is that’s not even my fault! I understand my dad had a lot of pressure so I just forget this.

I really mood less for the whole day. I’m really in confusing situation. You know what had happened? HE text me 9 messages for me last night asking me for back to the NORMAL. Next morning, I only get to see his messages [wake up time].  He tell me all the memories we been through. Does make my heart melts. I felt I was in dreaming only. It just too miracles for me.  But, I just pretend that he just needs a replacement for the lost. I don’t know what I should do. The end, we decided just to be BEST FRIEND only. I not say that I won’t return back. I ………… do love him. In fact, between us had too much problems and we doesn’t had the TRUST that we should.

I learn a lot of things from this long duration holidays. I learn that in LOVE, we can’t really judge which sides is right and wrong. He might do a lot of things that hurt me. I not demanding that I’m the 100% the right one. In the real fact, I understand that I do make a lot of mistakes when we together and I didn’t appreciate what he sacrifice for me. I could classify myself as the always “ASK FOR MORE” girlfriend too. i guess you get what I mean that situation. Maybe time will change everything back. Who knows right? But..Since i start LET GO then I should continue LET Go ! i don't want my heart to be broken again for the next time~

!!~i'm back ~!!

Hey,blog! i miss u so much. how r u? hahas. don't know what to type for my intro so i wrote this.

Just back from KL yesterday.Wow,its really tiring me.

Its had been a few years i din been there.

bcoz most of all ,my parents wont traveled in M'sia.

they prefer out country.Unlike me, everywhere i oso wish to visit if i can make it.

In KL,we took 4days 3night trip. Actually, i wish i could go for more.

but,due to certain reason. i can't make this.

Times really short.Yet,now already been the end of our trip.

I bought a lot of clothes.haha. But,this time and for the 1st time ,i din buy souvenir for my friends.

don't know why. i felt not really happie.

when i walk anywhere in the shopping mall, i saw many couples so sweet.

holding each other hands so tight,hugging and so on.

YES! i'm still in memories .

i miss HIM a lot.

i wish i could do the same like them with HIM.

i know it just waste of time and hopeless.

i saw HIM got a new Facebook account.

every time,i open my facebook.

its always appear in my friend suggestion.

and every time,i have friends request to approve

i hope that one of the friend request is HIM

I know..this definitely not going to happen

i just u'stand his character too well

i'm living in the shadow of HIM

Then,just now. i went for Maxwell Hills for hike.

kah yan ask me that isnt i was too pressure till i talking in dreams night.

in my mind,i'm thinking.Maybe Yes ,Maybe no.

i just cant forget HIM and its really hard for me.

Another things is.My aunt asked me to work in KL temporarily.

I WANT ! but my mum don't let. why?

Old reason. she want me to work in our shop.

so she could go holidays.

i really disappointed. i wanted to get some new experience.*sigh*

and takes this chances to forget those bad memories in Taiping.

i havent ask my dad yet. i think after i take my car license only i ask him.

Maybe my dad will let. Arggh~

when in KL time,i think a lot.

i think about future. Coz my aunt everytime asked me about this.

and i cant give her a good answer for this.haix..

i felt jealous for the my friends. they can choose jobs they likes.

for this long term holidays.

i just want change my working environment.

then, i think that whether i want Form Sixth or College. haix.

stupid NS! make i stuck in both choices.

if College, i want Monash or TARC?

Gosh..i'm headache in this again n again.

Gonna watch AVATAR this saturday.Woohoo~ if i could make this. yeah=D

Finally 9 Dec~

OMG! i had finished my SPM..
but why i seem likes not reli happy today.=(
i cant be excited like the usual way i use to be before today.what happen?
i guess its because of i din get my sleep well last night.
wake up in the middle of night to study PD make my mood spoil..
another things is i CANt accompany my GIRLS to watch NEW MOON later.
which i had promise them 3weeks ago.and yet i'm da one who suggest.damn! 
its really make me even worst. haihs.sorrie ya~
i need work and help my parents maybe another day i replace back this.

My relatives keep asking me "how ur spm? " this and that..
make me frustrated to answer.u know why..
one of this Bitch ask then i ma say "NOT BAD!'' 
but later she tell her son that i say EASY even i didnt say so then she continue said that who are Stupiak only say this! WTF!
then what suppose i answer..anyway,i just ignored.
if not ,i might lost my temper and being rude to her.

Okie.let me tell u here...
overall ,my analysis~

BM -i guess i do quite well than i usual do.
BI-hmm..maybe grade B only.
Math- urmmmmmmmmmm..
SN- boleh la..
EA-my kajian kes gone d~~lalalala
Moral-damn! this time i not goin bermoral anymore~kakaka.
Pa -no hope for A d..=(
Sejarah- i suppose i done my best d..
Pd- bye! bye!

whateva the result will be,i dont mind d.. i ad stress for 1year ! i dowan be stress and tension for another 3 months! =D
Happy Holidays~wOooohoooo...xD

RM 55.80

Yesterday like usual i will buy dinner for my family eat.
My mum give me Rm50 notes for dinner.
i choose go MR.BBq cause i really so desperate to eat their ikan bakar.
I make my order ..
"Roasted Duck,Thai style Ikan bakar,Bitter Gourd Bean paste and Beancurd Taufu"
while waiting my foods to be done then i look at their MENU.
i see all the foods PRICES..my eyes about to Drop.

-MONOLOg in heart.-

"cham liao la..Mum just give me Rm50."

check my wallet again.I only have rm6 nia..

keep sweating "should i go home and take $$ or cancel one of my order?"..

Roll my eyes at the cashier counter. My orders almost done. All foods were in packages now.

 i walk nearer to the counter and ask. "erm,does the roasted duck done?"

the waiter answer "yes.why?"

i say "nothing,how much da total amount?"

"Rm55.80."

i smiled widely.FUH! damn lucky..hahahha...xD

Make life easy! ^^

Story starts like this.Its happen between My Customer and me..
Location : my workplaces of coz..
Time : about 5 p.m

 This customer buy 9metre of 1.5 x 9c cable from us.So while waiting my maid to cut the cable, i chat with this customer.

"Sir, u want calendar? take it, this is free.." -pointing at the hundreds copies of calendar-

He replies "no ,thanks..i felt stressful when i see this"

i laugh and start curious then ask him for answer.

He explain "this because,every time i see calendar .its make me think of the economic crisis and so on"

*sigh*

i try comfort him *smile*  "kawan,why don't you think in a good side.Actually Life could be easy"

"why don't you see this calendar in positive ways.As example,you can mark-up and draw a BIG big cirlcle on the upcoming holidays.Thinks on the holidays that u gonna enjoys.Makes you feel Good right.? =).. Taking Holidays Doesnt mean that u're lazy,kawan.Perhaps,holidays is a day for you rest and had then had more energy for the next day."

He laugh and say "thanks,i feel much better now.thanks for your calendar" -walk away-

What about now? =)

Shadows fill an empty heart

As love is fading,

From all the things that we are

But are not saying.

Can we see beyond the scars

And make it to the dawn?

Change the colors of the sky.

And open up to

The ways you made me feel alive,

The ways I loved you.

For all the things that never died,

To make it through the night,

Love will find you.

What about now?

What about today?

What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?

What if our love never went away?

What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

Baby, before it's too late,

What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes

To start a new day.

This broken heart can still survive

With a touch of your grace.

Shadows fade into the light.

I am by your side,

Where love will find you.

What about now?

What about today?

What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?

What if our love had never went away?

What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

Baby, before it's too late,

What about now?

Now that we're here,

Now that we've come this far,

Just hold on.

There is nothing to fear,

For I am right beside you.

For all my life,

I am yours.

What about now?

What about today?

What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?

What if our love had never went away?

What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

What about now?

What about today?

What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?

What if our love had never went away?

What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

Baby, before it's too late,

Baby, before it's too late,

Baby, before it's too late,

What about now?