life in loneliness.

most of my friends thought i was happy go lucky type.
because previously i wouldnt show out how sad or depress i am.
i'm NOT ! i'm human either.
i will felt depress and need someone really accompany me.
feeling tired always happen to me.
it doesnt matter which part of it.
i felt in every part of my life was never wonderful.
just because u didnt treat me that fair. WHY?
cant u make it fair and square?
i'm just a teen yet i cant able to love .
depression make me think alot. i'll tried control my emotion.
i really have a low EQ. what a brain i have.
having difficult thinking. unable to control emotion
i'm NOt that though like u thought.even i try to pretend it.
this time really critical stage. i really wanna know what do u want from me.
yes.what do u want from me. tell me .dont let me guess it myself. i will insane soon

whats around me?

Okie. let have some update for this lonely page.
i know ,it been a decade for me not update this page.
nothing much happen. like normal human use to face.
Happy ? sad? Miserable? dying ?
well ,frequently what happen to me is.

i felt that very hard for me to be that positive i used to be before.
everyone around me had change.
from maybe negative to positive and of course wont miss out the opposite too
hmm. honestly, i not really like much the changes.
the truth fact is i dont really like myself either.
i dont know what the reason for my changes
maybe like others use to said.
different environment . the main want.
totally no idea for that.
stressful with everything around me. like everthing seem not really go according what i expected.
WHY?
 why should i know ? or find out what i really shouldnt know.
i often getting tired. to questioning for the answer.
u never let me know either.the fact is whateva u been trying to hide wouldnt hide for forever.
MATURE ! how hard would it be?
 i been trying like hell ! gosh ! I'm tired !
i knew i wont be the person u could proud of. and i never be since i was young.
but one days ! i will be that PERSON !
no more hesitate! GO !